Back on the Homefront

All Evan wants for Christmas is....

HIS TWO FRONT TEETH!! Today was an interesting day for us.  We were supposed to drop the kids at daycare and actually have an "us" day to enjoy being back together.  Well, we made it to our first destination and shortly after arriving there, I got a call from the daycare.  It seems Evan slipped/tripped in the bathroom and hit his teeth on the hand dryer (conveniently placed low so little kids can use it, of course).  So, we hurried to daycare and assessed the damage.  Yep, he needed to see a dentist.  We called our dentist and got referred to a pediatric dentist and headed there.  Within minutes, we were told that the two front teeth needed to come out.  Evan was a trooper, got the laughing gas and within about 10 minutes had his two front teeth out.  They said the kids usually do better without the parents right by, so we waited out in the waiting room, and he came out just fine minutes later carrying a tiny dinosaur, car and two stickers.  He's had a few pain meds, but hasn't complained, ate dinner and actually smiled for a picture.  What a big guy!

In other news, our first "us" day didn't happen either.  Yesterday the plan was to also have an "us" day, but instead we spent the day taking Camden to the doctor.  It seems his cold turned into a double ear infection and pink eye.  What fun!  I can't believe the luck we're having...at least it all waited until Micah was home to help me out!  Micah had been in charge of planning our day today and actually had done a great job of planning some romantic things...too bad we had to cancel them...maybe next time.  We're just glad that the boys are both on the mend and we'll all be togther for Christmas!

Pics of the Homecoming!

Just a quick download of a few pics from the weekend.  There were more pictures, of the whole family, etc taken on other cameras, but these are the best taken on ours.  Sooooo nice to have Micah back home with us!

           

He's home!!!

The boys and I traveled up to Grand Rapids on Thursday...the next couple of days went like this:

Thursday night, Evan and Camden were so excited that we would be seeing daddy the next day...it was WAY past normal bedtime before I got them calmed down enough to go to sleep.  Micah called and said he would be getting up early the next morning to get ready to board the plane....I had a hard time sleeping that night too!

Friday morning, we all woke up early and dreaded the few hours we had left to wait until we could see Micah.  When you're that close, it kills to keep waiting!  Micah's mom and dad met us at the hotel.  Micah's dad went by himself to the church where the ceremony was being held.  He's part of the Michigan Patriot Guard Riders, and they were doing an escort/welcome home for the troops.  Les and I got the boys ready and headed to the church.

We got there early, got a pretty good seat and then had a couple of agonizing hours to wait.  I took Evan and Camden for a couple of walks, they played cars, did some "color wonder" drawings, etc.  During this time, I got a few updates from Micah on my cell phone, including one pic of him on the airplane, and then a call that they had landed in Grand Rapids...what a relief!  There was a slideshow playing in the church and we saw Micah on there a couple of times, only making us more anxious to see him.

Soon, they made the announcement that the buses were coming, and did a "live feed" showing them arriving.  That was all it took for me to shed a few tears.  Then more waiting as they got the guys lined up, and finally brought them out on stage.  Unfortunately, we couldn't pick out Micah in the sea of soldiers, so it was even more frustrating...to know he was right up there, and I didn't know where.  He later said he saw us though, and saw the signs we had made...that's all that matters I guess. 

We sat through the ceremony, and finally they began releasing us...it was supposed to be an ordered exit so everyone could find their loved ones, but I think our side got a little too anxious and we went early...oh well, we found Micah and Evan ran up and gave him the biggest hug ever.  Cam looked a bit confused at first as to why Micah wasn't just "on the webcam", but it didn't take long for him to warm up to him!  Of course, I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him too!  It was so nice after all this time to know he was coming home to stay with us...almost surreal.

We went back to the hotel, hung out, went out to eat with Mike and Les, and stayed the night.  The boys were on top of Micah wrestling with him on the bed right away.  It was so nice to finally see all of my boys together again!!!  Today was traveling home, and now we're just enjoying being a family again...a family again...that sounds nice.  Evan just ripped off the last two links from the chain and started jumping up and down when I asked if it was exciting to be able to do that...I think that speaks for us all!  Will post pictures later, as the camera is still in the car. 

Thank you to all who have supported us along this long journey.  Now we can begin to post pictures/blog entries about our lives together again :)

We get to see him Friday!!

So it has been confirmed through the FRG phone tree that we get to see Micah on Friday!  Only three more days...wow!!  I was actually watching TV while I worked out tonight and there was a commercial for a Christmas show on next week that I thought the boys might like to watch.  Suddenly, it hit me that we can watch it as a FAMILY!!!!  It seems like forever since we've been a whole family and I can't wait to get back to doing things together!  I told Evan that daddy comes home on "show and share" day, so he's VERY excited too!  He's already been planning things for them to do together and has actually set aside some of the Halloween candy (yes, we're still eating it!) that was too hard and said daddy could have it.  How funny!  Hopefully next time I write on here I will have pictures of us all together again!!

Another Micah update....nice to have so many :)

Shortly after calling me this morning, Micah left on yet another airplane and arrived safely at Ft. Hood in Texas.  Yeah, one more step towards coming home with us!  We were originally planning to be able to see him on Fri or Sat, but he sent an email saying it COULD possibly be earlier...all of this waiting to find out an exact time is killing me.  He said he'll call when he knows more, but it can't be soon enough!  Will keep you all posted as I find out....

He's back in the US!!!

So its 3:25 am and I just HAD to post before trying to go back to sleep.  I just got a phone call from my husband...and this time his phone number actually didn't show up as "unknown"!!  It was SOOO  nice to get a call from him on his own cell phone.  I had actually had a hint last night that he was probably in Germany and actually started crying just at that notion...now this morning I hear the phone ringing and just knew he would be the only one calling me at this time in the morning.  And can you guess that I didn't care what time it was?!?  We still won't see him for a few days since he has to go through debriefing, etc but it is awesome to know the process has begun!!  I can't wait to tell Evan that soon he gets to rip off the last remaining chain links...how exciting!  More later, I need sleep...if I can sleep!

Losing my mind!!

We're down to just about a week before Micah gets back, and somehow I'm finding myself more stressed, more grumpy and less patient now that the time for his return is approaching.  I don't know why this happens, all I know is that it happened last deployment and its happening again...the difference is that this time I have a son who is old enough to actually notice my irratibility. 

So often, I have people say how nice it must be to finally have Micah come home and that things can get back to normal.  I HATE hearing that!  There is no normal when your husband has been deployed for about 2 1/2 out of the 4 1/2 years of your son's life!!  I know that people just don't understand unless they've been through a deployment, but the return is just as stressful as them leaving.  You have all this anticipation of what it is going to be like to have your soldier back in your arms, but real life isn't always like the "fairy tale" you imagine...

Maybe this time will be different, but when we were reunited after the last deployment, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect.  I didn't know how to act...after being separated for so long, it IS weird to see your husband.  Both of you have changed so much, experienced different things and now have to learn to accept the changes in each other.  No matter how excited you are to see them, it is still a bit stressful.  Remember when you first got married/moved in with someone...how you had to get used to all the little quirkes they had?  That's what its like all over again...after being used to doing things "your way", you have to adjust to them being in the house again too.

Don't get me wrong, I am more than happy to adjust to him being home again...this has been a rough deployment and its all hitting me now.  I've been trying to just keep going one day at a time, but I'm done.  I'm done with having a little boy who throws tantrums when he misses his daddy after talking to him on the phone or webcam (and yes, I can expect it to happen EVERY time he talks to Micah).  I'm done with having the dog with separation anxiety who pees on everything in sight when I give the kids attention.  I'm done with trying to juggle work and grading papers at night while still devoting enough time to the boys.  I'm just done.

For the past couple of weeks, I've really been grouchy.  I'm finding myself wanting everything to be perfect when Micah comes home.  I want the house to be clean when he walks in, I want the Christmas decorations to be up for him, I want some welcome home signs made, groceries stocked so I can make him some good meals, etc...the only problem is that I can't get any of this done.  I did get the Christmas tree up, but no other decorations.  I have to give finals at school the week after he comes home, so I can't take a lot of time off to be with him...and since I'll be traveling to get him, I have to have finals made ahead of time.  Throw into it all the fact that I have been trying to get Christmas shopping done and Evan has been waking up at 5 am so I don't get my "me" exercise time alone in the morning and you end up with one cranky mom! 

I feel like this deployment, especially right now, has turned me into someone I don't want to be.  I hate admitting to myself that I've been yelling at the boys a lot lately.  Tonight Evan even said "you've been yelling at me all the time".  I HATE that I'm feeling so stressed and my boys are receiving the short end of the stick.  Of course I tell Evan I'm sorry for being so grumpy lately, but how much can a 4 yr old understand...and really how much should he HAVE to know about the deployment stress at that age?   I often worrry how this will affect him (and Cam, though he doesn't know so much right now) down the road...I know I don't remember much from when I was four, but this kid has a memory like I've never seen.  He pulls out things from over a year ago that I have forgotten all about...will he always remember mommy yelled at him when daddy was gone?  I'm just trying to make myself realize that not everything has to be perfect when Micah comes home...he's seen a messy house before, and we ARE really getting the best Christmas present already.  Just being together is what matters most this year.  Now if I can focus on that thought and stop stressing so much.  Just one more week, that's what I keep telling myself...just one more week.

Are the days really longer???

How does it always happen that the closer you get to an event happening, the longer each day seems to be?  From what we've been told, Micah is just about a week away from coming home...ahhh, that sounds so good to say...the only problem is that the days seem to be dragging on and on.

We found out a couple weeks ago that he would be expected back sometime during the 2nd week of December.  So, I finally had an end in sight.  I began dreaming already of having my husband here to talk to after the kids go to bed, seeing my boys playing with their daddy and spending lazy Saturday mornings "just being a family."  Ok, sidenote:  I'm also secretly dreaming of a few other selfish things including number one:  I can't wait to be able to take a shower in the morning and not have the rush of cold air blow in as someone opens the door to ask for more cereal (soon daddy can get it for them!). 

Remember when you were a child and it always seemed to take forever to get to a fun destination?  That's how I feel right now.  I have been in "single mom survival mode" for so long and I'm ready to just have Micah back.  The anticipation is killer!  I've watched those darn chain links disappear week after week but now that we're down to the end, the remaining links seem to just mock me.  I'm so ready to let Evan rip the last one off and declare this deployment finally over!   Soon, I will see Micah...that what I keep telling myself...but soon just isn't soon enough.

The first snow!!

So Micah is over in a desert, and we got our first snowfall of the year.  I heard yesterday that there would be some lake effect snow but it was supposed to be in the next county...I guess the wind shifted or something, because we woke up to a winter wonderland this morning!  It was only a couple weeks ago when it was warm enough for the boys to play in the leaves without coats...now winter has definitely arrived.  They are saying the official total is 9-10 inches...which isn't too bad, but just crazy when we didn't expect it.

Yesterday, I told Evan it might snow a little.  He wanted there to be enough snow to play in, and I said "I'm sorry honey, I don't think we'll get that much."  Boy, was I wrong.  Just look at these pics.  Evan wakes up around 5 am to hang out with me, so I had him throw on his snowsuit and head outside.  I shoveled, and he cleaned off the   car for me...what a nice helper!  Of course, we had a little snowball fight and he made a snow angel along the way too.  Oh, did I mention I got a 2 hour delay for school...we took full advantage of  it!  I woke Cam up later and just let him look at the snow from the bay window.  He was so excited and just kept saying "snow, snow, snow". (And yes, those are still Halloween decorations in the window by Cam...I think we'll just mix together all the holidays this year!

So, we arrive home tonight to find that my driveway has been plowed.  I had only shoveled enough for me to get out this morning, but now its completely clear.  There is no sign of who did it for me...my neighbor has used his snowblower for me secretly in the past, but this time there are truck tire marks and big "plow" piles.  Hmmmm...whoever it was, they made my day.  Its nice to have someone notice a need we have...and do something about it.   I don't know if I'll find out who it was, but if you're reading this...thank you :)

The end is in sight!!

Finally!!  I had just asked Micah yesterday if there was any more information he could give me about when he'll be home.  He just said there would be a newsletter coming out that says the 2nd week of December...ok, that gave me a little hope, but I wanted the "official" word.  I actually got a call from the FRG phone tree while on the webcam with Micah, but told him I'd call the lady back.  As soon as I got off the computer, I called her back and she had quite a bit of news for me...yeah!!!

She said that right now, they ARE due back sometime the 2nd week of December, of course, depending on storms, travel, etc. I AM SO EXCITED!!  She said she'll be calling when they leave Kuwait, when they arrive at Ft Hood and then when they'll actually be coming to Michigan for the ceremony.  I just can't believe it, finally a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Sitting in church today, I almost began to cry and I thought about us being a whole family again.  I'm so ready for my boys to have their daddy back, to not have to hear daily how much they miss him.  I told Evan that daddy might be here BEFORE Santa comes (since we'd being saying it might be a little after he comes) and he got a HUGE smile on his face, ran to me and gave me the biggest hug in the world...yes, this little guy and his brother deserve to have their daddy!  I'm not letting him take extra links off the chain yet. This being the second deployment,  I know how things can change...I won't believe Micah is home until I actually see him!

Its been/continues to be a rough deployment, often full of tears and frustration that I didn't always share...I often have people saying now that it seems like the time went fast, that it doesn't seem like almost a year ago that he left...I wish I could say the same.  This year has been long.  This year has been hard, but I knew we would make it.  I dreamed of this day and kept it in sight...Micah will be coming home.  That is all that matters now.

I'm also amazed at how people think that everything will be just back to "normal" when he returns.  In this marriage, I'm not sure what "normal" is.  Being the second deployment, I know that when he returns, we'll all have a long period of adjustment.  He's been used to living in a tiny room on his own and will now have to adjust to the noise/chaos of not one, but two rambunctious boys.  As an officer, he's used to giving orders and having them followed...around here, it doesn't always work that way with two small ones.  On our side, the boys and I will be ecstatic to have him home, but it will be different too.

In order to survive these deployments, I become sort of routine.  We get up at a certain time, we come home, make/eat dinner, take baths, play a little, then bedtime.  There isn't much chance for just hanging out...even Saturday is the time to clean/catch up on all the things I couldn't get done during the week.  When Micah's home, we enjoy going to the bookstore, going hiking, just generally hanging out more...very fun, but we have to adjust nap time, etc...it takes some time. 

Last deployment, we had a problem with Evan not wanting Micah to do anything such as putting him to bed, giving baths, etc.  All that he remembered at that age was mommy doing it...it took quite awhile to get him to let Micah do it.  I'm wondering how Cam will do this time, as he's the same age Evan was last time...only time will tell.

For myself, I worry about falling into old "bad" habits.  During the first part of this deployment, I sat around and felt pity for myself...I ate a ton of food after the boys went to bed, and told myself I had a right to do so.  I didn't exercise as I also convinced myself there was no time for it, that I was too busy with Micah being deployed.  Ahhh poor me...get over it.  That's what I finally told myself after Micah was here for R & R.  I'm not sure why that event made me change...maybe because it gave me hope again to see him and have such a great time with him? 

For whatever reason, I started getting up early to exercise and began watching what I eat.  I told myself that instead of deserving to eat during all of this, I deserved to be me, to be happy, to love MYSELF again.  And it worked...I've lost over 12 lbs since the beginning of the school year (we teachers define the year as the school year, not calendar year!)  I'm taking it easy, about a pound a week, but I feel great!  My worry is that I will want to just hang out with Micah when he's home: finally eat at a restaurant with someone I love, stay up late talking, etc and won't force myself to keep up with working out in the morning.  So, if you see me getting fat in the pictures again, remind me to love myself too :)

I haven't rambled like this for awhile.  I guess I'm just so excited to have an end to this deployment in sight!  To think that in a little over a month I will have my husband back home is almost more than I can take!  We actually had a rough time relationship wise last deployment, then he was home and we finally started feeling like a couple again right before he was deployed again.  I don't know why it was different this time, but we've had a GREAT relationship this deployment, and had a GREAT R & R in July...last time I was nervous for him to come home, this time I'm just so excited...